Last Week Was Rough

Last Wednesday started very early, 4:30am. I had a ct scan at 7am in Wilmington, then on to my blood work, doctor's appointment and finally chemo treatment. We left Wilmington around 5pm, but didn't get home until 7pm. Traffic was a bear.

It took 8 tries to get blood work done and start my I.V. My arms are very bruised up from all of the attempts. The ct scan didn't show any changes, just the same swollen lymph node. The doctor lowered the dosage of chemo. But I still am experiencing the same side effects. I missed last Wednesday, Friday and Tuesday from work. I just couldn't get myself together. I am here at work today, but I am not feeling well. I've been sleeping a good bit of the time.

I just feel worn out. Some of the side effects of chemo are worse than last time and I think it has to do with the build up from everything, including the radiation treatments. I just don't feel like doing anything, just sleeping. I did make it to work today, with great effort. The word "just" is heavy in my vocabulary, for some reason.

I have one more week to enjoy my hair before it starts falling out again. I am bummed about that, although I did order some new hats. In fact, to help me feel a little better, I also ordered 4 new work blouses, a pair of work pants and 6 hats. I want to make a video showing how I manage my hair loss, but I keep putting it off.

Our garden is coming along nicely. Joe has been working hard getting the area ready as well as the containers. I started seeds and the seedlings are almost ready to plant. Again, I keep putting off video taping that too. I haven't even taken any pictures...shame.

Chemo funk. That's it. Trying to do anything take such a huge effort that I wonder just how important anything is. I know what I need to do to feel better, I just don't want to do any of it. I just want to sleep.

And to top it off, Mom has decided that because I got a new mattress, that she needs a new one too. Just like with the recliner. I wish my siblings would step up and help me take care of mom, instead of Joe having to take up the slack. He has his own mother to worry about. My brother has done nothing... I just don't know how long I can take care of Mom, even with Joe helping.

Something has to give and I am not sure what it is.

And all I want to do it get well so we can go camping. When I sleep, I dream of camping.

Oh well, this too will pass.

Peace for reading this.

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