New Year....Summing Up

2019 is in the history books. It was stressful, painful and hopeful.

I am still considered in remission on the cancer front. I've had a mammogram and a colonoscopy back last fall and they came back clear. I am still suffering from the side effects of all the chemo and radiation treatments I had. The biggest ones are the fatigue and joint pain. My hair is growing back a curly salt and pepper grey.

If I seem distant, it is because I am... There has been so much going on that I don't know where to start.

At work, most of my favorite coworkers have left or are getting ready to leave...making me feel alone and disconnected from my workplace. I started doing the monthly newsletter for the club and that has been added stress, but at the same time, I enjoy the mental stimulation. Every other part of my job is wearing me down. I've been in this "entry level" position for the past 11 1/2 years, watching as others have moved up and I feel like I am spinning my wheels. The newsletter is the only joy now, and it is stressful because difference department heads are slow to submit their content. One person submits theirs just a couple of days before I need to publish it. It makes proofing difficult.

At home, Sean has moved out and is now several states away. I am glad he has moved on and found direction in his life. It's nice to have my living room back. But I do miss him. Joe has been dealing with his mother. Back at the beginning of December she got into a car accident which broke  a bone in her neck. She was in the hospital until a few days after Christmas, then moved to a skilled nursing home, where she only got worse until she passed away Dec. 30th. She was buried Jan. 3rd. Mourning her is overwhelming. The trips back and forth from Myrtle Beach to Gastonia (5 hour drive) has taken its toll on both us, our finances and our vehicles. Our hippie van is about to give out and we are not sure what we are going to do. My mom is doing okay, but she has lost 6 of her teeth, all of them had crowns on them. The roots are still in place and I am trying to save enough money for her to have them removed.

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