Weigh In Break Down
I started 2018 at 345 pounds. Wow! Holy crap I'm fat! I have
struggled most of my life with my weight.
Growing up, my mother was always on Weight Watchers (she would lose and regain the same 50-60 pounds.) I think watching her struggle and living in a "Dieting Household" made me crave "evil foods." Once I got some freedom, I overindulged to the point of gluttony.
Obviously, I have had issues with food my whole life.
But it doesn't need to be that way. Food is just fuel/medicine. It's not love, comfort, inspiration, punishment, reward or ungratefulness. It is supposed to be nourishment for the body.
Yes, it can bring people together and I love breaking bread with my family. But with my massive weight problem, I am embarrassed to eat around most people. In my mind, "Come on, who wants to see a fat person eat?" I think I look gross. One diet I was on back in the 1990's said to place a mirror in the dining room so I could see what I looked like eating. Guilt and anger is what I felt about that failed experiment.
Over the years I have done the Deal-a-Meal w/ Richard Simmons, Sweatin' with the Oldies, exercised with Jane Fonda (that was given to me after my first child was born), I've gone to T.O.P.S. meetings, tried the South Beach Diet, Rebooted with Joe Cross, and so many others they fade into a diet blur.
What I want to do now is...nothing. No diets, no sad moments where I cry because it's not what I really want to eat, no overeating junk to punish people in power over me, no rewarding myself for putting up with a stressful day, no using food as a weapon at all.
I want to prepare and enjoy homemade food made in more traditional means to get all of the helpful nutrition my body needs to heal.
Good, healthy home cooked food should be an instrument of positive refueling. No GMO, pesticide/herbicide infused, over processed food that is cheap and quick to buy and eat. It isn't what I want to put into my body anymore.
Wow! All that came out because I admitted my weight.
Peace!
Growing up, my mother was always on Weight Watchers (she would lose and regain the same 50-60 pounds.) I think watching her struggle and living in a "Dieting Household" made me crave "evil foods." Once I got some freedom, I overindulged to the point of gluttony.
Obviously, I have had issues with food my whole life.
But it doesn't need to be that way. Food is just fuel/medicine. It's not love, comfort, inspiration, punishment, reward or ungratefulness. It is supposed to be nourishment for the body.
Yes, it can bring people together and I love breaking bread with my family. But with my massive weight problem, I am embarrassed to eat around most people. In my mind, "Come on, who wants to see a fat person eat?" I think I look gross. One diet I was on back in the 1990's said to place a mirror in the dining room so I could see what I looked like eating. Guilt and anger is what I felt about that failed experiment.
Over the years I have done the Deal-a-Meal w/ Richard Simmons, Sweatin' with the Oldies, exercised with Jane Fonda (that was given to me after my first child was born), I've gone to T.O.P.S. meetings, tried the South Beach Diet, Rebooted with Joe Cross, and so many others they fade into a diet blur.
What I want to do now is...nothing. No diets, no sad moments where I cry because it's not what I really want to eat, no overeating junk to punish people in power over me, no rewarding myself for putting up with a stressful day, no using food as a weapon at all.
I want to prepare and enjoy homemade food made in more traditional means to get all of the helpful nutrition my body needs to heal.
Good, healthy home cooked food should be an instrument of positive refueling. No GMO, pesticide/herbicide infused, over processed food that is cheap and quick to buy and eat. It isn't what I want to put into my body anymore.
Wow! All that came out because I admitted my weight.
Peace!
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