Camping Will Have to Wait
I had my first post op appointment on Tuesday. Stage 3 cancer. It has spread to some of my lymph nodes. I will need to get a ct scan to see where else it has gone, plus I will have to have what the doctor calls sandwich therapy. Chemo then radiation then back to chemo. Toxic sandwich.
I have been so upset and basically grief stricken. The 5 year survival rate for stage 3 endometrial cancer is between 47-58%. Chemo and radiation goes against everything I hold true about organic/natural living. But with odds not in my favor, I feel I need to submit to this horrific procedure. I am more frightened to this than I was about the surgeries. Plus my hair will fall out!!!!!!!! OH I have to take a moment. I'll come back to this later.....
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The next day.......
I just don't know where to begin. This blog has come so far from what I wanted it to be about. I wanted to explore the world of homemade....but I brought my love for camping into it, and now it's all about my health crisis. I wanted to get healthy by doing things myself. I'm not that strong. I feel like an idiot. Plus I am obsessed about my hair falling out once chemo starts.
How long will I be able to work? If I can't work, what about my health insurance? I am on this vicious cycle that the only way to get out of is to either drop out of society or by death. But I've got people depending on me to be alive and here for them. And the only thing I want to do is pack up the camping gear and go camping...forever. My dream of having property to homestead on it all but dead now. Even if we could afford it, I am too ill to do all the wonderful things I have in my head. Raising chickens and goats, gardening, making everything from scratch, being outside...
Outside. That's a laugh! Once chemo starts, I .....oh it's starting again. I gotta go.
I have been so upset and basically grief stricken. The 5 year survival rate for stage 3 endometrial cancer is between 47-58%. Chemo and radiation goes against everything I hold true about organic/natural living. But with odds not in my favor, I feel I need to submit to this horrific procedure. I am more frightened to this than I was about the surgeries. Plus my hair will fall out!!!!!!!! OH I have to take a moment. I'll come back to this later.....
_________________________________
The next day.......
I just don't know where to begin. This blog has come so far from what I wanted it to be about. I wanted to explore the world of homemade....but I brought my love for camping into it, and now it's all about my health crisis. I wanted to get healthy by doing things myself. I'm not that strong. I feel like an idiot. Plus I am obsessed about my hair falling out once chemo starts.
How long will I be able to work? If I can't work, what about my health insurance? I am on this vicious cycle that the only way to get out of is to either drop out of society or by death. But I've got people depending on me to be alive and here for them. And the only thing I want to do is pack up the camping gear and go camping...forever. My dream of having property to homestead on it all but dead now. Even if we could afford it, I am too ill to do all the wonderful things I have in my head. Raising chickens and goats, gardening, making everything from scratch, being outside...
Outside. That's a laugh! Once chemo starts, I .....oh it's starting again. I gotta go.
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